Thursday, October 28, 2010

Unmentionables

No, I do not mean age or weight. I’m talking about underclothing. When I was in high-school in the 1960s we called brassieres, bras. We still do but why did we do it back then? The word brassiere was taboo. You did not mention that word just like you did mention (or show) private body parts, especially in mixed company. There was a lady on television who used to advertise a certain bra. She showed it over her outer-clothing. Times have changed. Now people wear all sorts of tops that are supposed to be an outer-wear and they cover less than that bra did!
Then there are the panties, or as when I was a kid, we call them step-ins. Why? Logical. They used to cover you whole bottom. Now it seems its fashion show your panty lines through your outer-clothing.
SLIPS (in another post this same day)
Then lastly, but not least there are the pantyhose. Have you ever done a pull-wiggle? You know, during the day the material has stretched and started sliding down your body. You try to discreetly pull up on them to get them back into place.
Sometimes, I put them on without realizing I turn one leg around until it is almost on. They are our such a pain, and I hate taking them off to change it so stubbornly I decide to wear them the way they are. After walking around for a few moments, I feel like my leg is crooked, and finally give in to take care the problem.
Then what happens when you get a run in one leg of your pantyhose? It’s a shame to throw them away. The other leg is still good. So you save it until you have two of the same shade. Then you can cut off the bad legs and wear them together. If it is the kind that make you look slimmer than that you can look twice as slim. Right?
I have started wearing knee-highs. With them, you have to make sure your dress is long enough to cover them, so you do not look like an old lady with her socks sliding down her leg. But, then, I am getting to be an old lady, so why does it matter? And, you have to make sure the colors of each match.
One Sunday morning at church, though, I was able to bless someone when the knee-highs did match. During the church service, I noticed that I had on a black one and a navy blue one. I also noticed that there was a younger woman who looked a little depressed. After church, I went and sat down beside her. After exchanging pleasantries, I pulled up the hem of my dress a little and told her to look at my nylons. She had a good laugh and it helped her feel better.

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Slips

Last night, when washing my hands, I realized my slip had not come down so I discreetly reached up to pull it down and explained to the young girl standing there. She looked at me oddly. I asked, "Do you know what a slip is?" She shook her head. I said, "It's an old-fashioned thing." and walked out. I have learned that most of the newer generation does not know what a slip is. A few years ago when I went into a department store to buy one, the young sales clerk stared at me as if I were an alien. I had to describe the function of a slip to her, then she vaguely recalled what it was. And, no they did not carry them.

Here is something I wrote a while back:

Slips: I have a love-hate relationship with these articles of undergarments. Slips are wonderful to wear under clothing. It makes me feel more dressed and keep people from seeing through my clothing, but static cling drives me nuts. The slip creeps up around my buttocks and I try to reach up for it without anyone seeing me. Or I try to make it to the ladies’ room and hope no one notices this bunch material around me that makes my hips look larger than normal. Then there are the slip straps. They are always falling down around my shoulder. Those stay-lock things just do not keep them in place. I enjoy the first time I wear a new slip. It feels so good and the straps are nice and stay in place. Then I wash it and some how after being in the machine they are never the same. The straps twist up and can not be straightened right again. If I have on a sleeveless dress then the strap is there for all to see, but at least I can push it back in ... and push it back in .... If I have sleeves then I have to reach in through the neck line to grab for it.

Then, of course, there’s the length of the slips. I keep saying that one day all my dresses and slips are going to be the same lengths so I will not have to worry. In a crowd another lady passes you and whispers, “You are snowing down south” or some other subtle hint. I really do appreciate their concern, but, so what! Like I can do something about it now. Sometimes I want to scream, “I like lace around the bottom of my skirt. Leave me alone!” Well what I do is head for the ladies’ room and have it out with my slip for slipping. I wonder where it got its name?

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Slips Wikkipedia definition